I've Never Heard Silence Quite This Loud
by dreamsaremyescape
Summary: Songfic. of The Story of Us! Takes place after Clare says she wants space. DROP THE WORLD NEVER HAPPENED. Ignore it. It never happened in here. So, R/R please!


**A/N: I'm backkkk!:D I know I've been MIA since this summer, but it's my freshman year of high school, and a LOT of stressful things have happened, to say the least. And this week just hasn't been the best; so to take out my frustration, I combined my three favorite things: music, Eclare, and fanfiction! Plus, writing actual stories is hard for me to keep up with during the school year. And I know it was dumb of me to start my new story about The Last Song as if Eclare were in it if I wasn't going to update, but honestly, I have the second chapter pretty much written out, it's just a matter of finishing it up, proofing it, and finding time to keep up with it. So that WILL be updated, but not right away. :( Sooooo sorry. But like I said, it's been crazy. So this is just a little thing I typed up, and I apologize if some of it doesn't make sense . . . Okay, I'm rambling! But onward with the story!**

_The Story of Us by Taylor Swift_

_I used to think, one day, I'd tell the story of us_

_How we met, and sparks flew, instantly_

_People would say, "They're the lucky ones."_

_I used to know my place was the spot next to you_

Eli and I were an amazing couple, almost . . . fairytale-like, in some ways. When we met, I felt drawn to him, like something about him just intrigued me. Maybe it was the fact that he was my total opposite. Maybe it was because he was exciting and wasn't afraid of people or what they thought. Or maybe, it was because he was like a mystery I wanted to unravel and discover. Either way, something about us just 'clicked.' Not a lot of people click like that, and when you find someone you can really be yourself with, it's the most wonderful feeling in the world. That's what Eli and I share . . . or shared, is more accurate.

_Now, I'm searching the room for an empty seat_

_Cause lately, I don't even know what page you're on_

_Oh, a simple complication_

_Miscommunications lead to fall-out_

_So many things that I wish you knew_

_So many walls up that I can't break through_

You see, Eli is complicated. Underneath his, "I don't give a fuck about anything," façade, there's so much more going on. And it's hard to keep up sometimes. I've got my own issues going on, and of course he helps me as much as he can, but it's hard when you've got your own baggage to deal with.

I used to sit right behind him in English. Now, I try to sit as far from him as possible. I don't know what happened to us. Everything was going great, but after he wrote that story, he started to get clingy . . . almost possessive. I still love him with all my heart, don't get me wrong. But I just felt we needed a little break. Just for a little while, while we focused on school and friends. I hardly had time for anyone anymore; I was spending all my time with him, and even though I loved every second of it, something needed to change. And fast.

But Eli took it to heart, and now he's completely avoiding me. We haven't talked for almost two months, and it's making me certifiably insane. I can't do anything without thinking about him. Besides being my lover, he was also my best friend. I could trust him and Adam more than I could Alli, because I knew they wouldn't tell. But with Eli gone and Adam hanging out with Eli, I find myself missing him more and more, each day. I don't regret my decision to ask for space, because it felt necessary at the time, but I still need him in my life. I'm still in love with him, and having to see him every day, without even an official goodbye (one that I certainly didn't, and still don't, want), it kills me a little more each day, because I can't forget him.

_Now I'm standing alone, in a crowded room, and we're not speaking_

_And I'm dying to know, is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah?_

_I don't know what to say since the twist of fate when it all broke down_

_And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy, now_

He's standing over across the lot, talking to Adam looking bored. I stand there with Alli, half-heartedly listening to her ramble on about whatever drama she's involved with. I can't help but wonder, does he even care? This is killing me slowly, and he doesn't even seem bothered! Either he's putting up a really good act, or he doesn't care at all, anymore. I've tried going up to him and talking, but I just don't know how to approach this subject. I mean, I don't even know what happened! I don't want this to be the end, but I don't know what I can do.

_Next chapter_

_How'd we end up this way?_

_See me nervously pulling at my clothes and trying to look busy_

_And you're doing your best to avoid me_

What have we turned into? We went from this beautiful relationship that could go from amazingly sweet to teasing and sarcastic play-fighting the next, and now we're . . . nothing. All these thoughts circulate in my head while I'm fidgeting in my spot next to Alli, watching his movements, trying to read his expressions. He can see me out of the corner of his eye, and I know he's been trying to avoid me. If it wasn't obvious now, well it sure as hell is now. The way his eyes dart back and forth between Adam and my general direction, as if he's afraid something over here is going to run over and eat him alive gives him a paranoid, agitated look.

I hate how I can never seem to tell what he's thinking, yet he can read me like a children's book. He's like a Tim Burton movie, where you have to pay attention to every single detail to be at least halfway caught up, and I'm like a Dr. Seuss book!

_I'm starting to think, one day, I'll tell the story of us_

_How I was losing my mind when I saw you here_

_But you held your pride like you should've held me_

He and Adam started to walk towards us, only because we were standing by the entrance to the school. I can feel him looking at me as I look at Alli, trying to make myself seem occupied and not miserable and pining over him. He starts to get closer, and I can feel my breathing increase slightly. He walks until he's about five feet in front of us, with Adam stopping to talk to me. I'm barely paying attention to a word him or Alli is saying, because I'm so focused on Eli.

He looks so stubborn, like he refuses to be the one to come talk to me first after our long silence. He's keeping his pride in-tact, as if to make sure no one, or nothing can get through to him and make him weak.

_Oh, I'm scared to see the ending_

_Why are we pretending this is nothing?_

_I'd tell you I miss you, but I don't know how_

_I've never heard silence quite this loud_

Eli comes up next to me and stands there, waiting for Adam to finish up his conversation with Alli. I want to tell him how I really feel, but I just can't find the words. And it doesn't help that he's showing no emotion whatsoever. I can't tell what he's feeling, or if he even has feelings _for_ me, anymore.

An awkward silence invades us, as we stand there, each waiting for our friends to stop socializing so we can just end this silent torture. The silence is engulfing me, making me claustrophobic to the world. A few more minutes of this, and I'd be passed out and being carried to the nurse.

_Now I'm standing alone, in a crowded room, and we're not speaking_

_And I'm dying to know, is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah?_

_I don't know what to say since the twist of fate when it all broke down_

_And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy, now_

I don't know what it is about him that has such an effect on me. Everything he does impacts me; my thoughts, my actions, my moods. And I can't help but be happy when he's happy; sad when he's sad; angry at whoever or whatever could hurt him. I don't know why I have such strong feelings for him, but I do. And no matter how hard I try to just move on with my life since he's obviously trying to do the same, I just can't.

_This is looking like a contest of who can act like they care less_

We look at each other from the corner of our eyes, each silently hoping and praying that we appear as indifferent as possible.

_But I liked it better when you were on my side_

_The battle's in your hands, now_

_But I would lay my armor down_

_If you said you'd rather love than fight_

Things were so much better before all of this Fitz drama happened. We had no drama, no fighting, just us enjoying the other's company and being in love.

But now that we aren't talking, I've been waiting for him to make the first move. If he decides he wants to rekindle our relationship, I would do it in a heartbeat.

_So many things that you wished I knew_

_But the story of us might be ending soon_

But the way things are going right now, I don't think we'll even get to a friendly stage by the time he graduates. The words unsaid are killing me, and I know he feels the same way. But this may be my only chance to talk to him, so finally, I make my decision.

"E-Eli?" I hesitate at first, but gain my voice and speak clearly.

His head perks up, his eyes connecting with mine, holding a look of curiosity as to why I'm speaking to him. "Yeah?" He asks cautiously, keeping a guard up.

"Can I talk to you? Please? It's important," I say, just as carefully, praying that he'll agree, so I can at least clarify a few things with him before he rejects me and we go our separate ways. But I at least want some answers.

"Sure . . . " he says, drawling the word out for a few seconds. Suddenly, he gestures towards a picnic table nearby, and starts towards it, with me trailing behind. "So, Edwards, what's on your mind?" he asks smoothly, as if this were just a casual conversation with a random person. I am random to him now, though.

"Well, I was wondering . . . what ever happened between us? Because I know I said I wanted space, but I just meant for a couple weeks or so, and we haven't talked, and we've been ignoring each other's existence, and I can't ever tell if you hate me or not, and having to be in the same room as you for an hour a day and not getting to talk to you kills me. And I know you probably don't feel the same way, but this silence between us is slowly killing me, having to bear through it with a fake-smile and pretend you never meant anything to me . . . that you still don't mean everything to me . ." I ramble on, and I wonder if he's even catching anything I've said. I start to go on when he doesn't answer, but he cuts me off.

"Shh, Clare. Slow down. I can't keep up with a rambling Clare first thing in the morning," he jokes, a hint of his trademark smirk peeking through his lips. I rolled my eyes at him, and his eyes softened and he continued.

"Clare, of course I still love you! I've been in a shitty mood ever since that day you told me you wanted a breather. I respected that, which was why I never came up to you and said anything. It was also because you always looked so happy in the halls and I didn't want you to think I was so pathetic that I couldn't handle a break up. So I tried to be as happy as I could without you, though it only ended badly, confusing us both. I just assumed that when, and _if_ you were ever ready to get back together, you would come to me, since I was so smothering before. I didn't want to be like that again, and I can only blame myself for getting so clingy. It was just everything that's been going on, and with Julia's anniversary right around the corner, I didn't want to lose you, too. So I got overprotective, to say the least," he said, a light red color creeping onto his cheeks in embarrassment.

Hearing all of this, I felt so . . . relieved. Now I knew I wasn't the only one who was still in love and hoping for our relationship to start back up again. He was just respecting my wish to have some space! "Awwww, Eli! That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard!" I exclaimed, and he picked up his head in surprise. "So, all this time, you haven't been talking to me because you were afraid I'd get upset?"

"Of course, Clare! Trust me, if I hadn't been so afraid of you hating me, we would've had this little talk way sooner. But I wanted you to be ready first."

Hearing this, I closed the gap of space between us by running up and hugging him. He picked me up and hugged me back, and I wrapped my legs around his waist, and he gave me a little spinny-hug. He set me down, and he asked, "So, what does this mean for us?" I love the way he always asks me what I think and always asks for permission before doing anything different; it reminds me that maybe chivalry isn't dead.

"I'm hoping that it means we can pick up right where we left off in our story before all this drama happened?" I asked with a hopeful smile.

"I wouldn't want anything less," he smirked, then leaned in to kiss me.

_Now I'm standing alone, in a crowded room, and we're not speaking  
>And I'm dying to know, is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah?<br>I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate when it all broke down  
>And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now, now, now<br>And we're not speaking  
>And I'm dying to know, is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah?<br>I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate cause we're going down  
>And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy, now<em>

**A/N: I love this song so much. I can relate to it, and it's so upbeat and catchy! I totally didn't follow the storyline of the song . . . What can I say? I'm a rebel. :P But I have to have a happy Eclare ending! So I made it this. :) And that little cliché spinny-hug? I've always wanted one! Haha, so I let Clare get one. Anyway, if you've never heard this song, GET OUT OF THAT ROCK YOU'RE LIVING UNDER AND GO LISTEN TO IT! And reviews are much appreciated! :) Maybe I'll get into writing little one-shots again if people read stuff. So goodbye, lovelies. :)**


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